Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
