She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
