woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
