Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
