As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
