Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it's like heaven, but drunker
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
