the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize