I am spending my child support on dildos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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