My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
