if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
