I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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