I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
