worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
