yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
