you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
