You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
