Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
