Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
