Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
