from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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