Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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