I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
