Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
