I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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