Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have post one night stand depression
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