Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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