I bet he comes in French.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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