did you get engaged???
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
