I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize