So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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