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It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Randomize
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