You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?