I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.