It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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