When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
