The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
