You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
