He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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