But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
