STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
