I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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