Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
