i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
