I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
