Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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