im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize