ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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