week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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