If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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