dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
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I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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