im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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