Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
