New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
