This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
