Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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