he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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