I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
