Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
