so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize