I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
