I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
