ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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