if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
