i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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