so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
