Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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