Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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