**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
