i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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