I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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