so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
